The year was 2003. My boss and I were racing to a theatre to catch a movie on a daredevil ride. I am letting you in on a secret here – we were not riding to the Kolkata Lit Fest (Apeejay Kolkata Literature Festival), to check out any Indian suspense thriller novels.
Back then, I was based in Kolkata and lived in an apartment complex on the Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose Road in Tollygunge. Allow me to take you on a detour to Mirzapur, as I have to explain to you why it is not only about Kaleen Bhaiya, and there is more to it. India’s standard meridian is the longitude 82°30′ East. And it passes through Mirzapur, Uttar Pradesh. Kolkata’s meridian is 90° East. This means that the Sun rises 28 and a half minutes earlier in Kolkata over Mirzapur, and about an hour earlier than Delhi (Delhi is on 77° East). The time difference between two consecutive longitudes is 4 minutes. This is because the Earth rotates 360 degrees in 24 hours, or 15 degrees per hour. While this trivia may not mean much to you, but what it feels like at 5:00 am in Delhi during summers, bright enough but not sunny, it feels like that at 4:00 am in Kolkata. Then imagine how it would be at 5:00 am in Kolkata during summers. And who likes to get up early on a weekend?
I was a bachelor then, and usually spent my weekends reading. If I had nothing to read, I would jam with other colleagues or friends whoever was available. My collection of books was sourced from my favourite haunt, Oxford Bookstore at Kolkata.
That day was a fine weekend summer morning. Boss called. And I was sure this cannot be good. When the call got over, I realised that it was way better than good. But it had its challenges too.
He had recently moved into Kolkata. His car and household items were on their way. The family was also yet to arrive. So both of us were bachelors. So far so good. He wanted to watch a movie, even better. But neither of us had our own rides or drives, nor did we have the tickets. You see what I was dealing with?
What are friends for? I called one, and he was happy to lend me his bike as long as I promised to bring it back unscathed. I gave my word to him; he gave his bike to me. He actually gave more. I had breakfast at his place as well. What are married friends for?
I first rode to my boss, and then to the cinema. We were running short of time. You know how in large Indian cities it can be very complicated to catch time while driving or riding. Chances are better to catch dust than time. But I found a way, not that it was like guessing the suspense in Indian suspense novels. It was simpler than that. The road was broken in the middle. So most vehicles were driving on the sides. We had to pass through pot-holes though. I wouldn’t say I rode my bike like the Knight Rider, but I did I was fast enough. And because of the pot-holes, my boss was furious enough. Where do you think Diesel got the idea of ‘Fast & Furious’? He met me on a flight once; I shared this anecdote with him, and the rest, as they say, is history (of course not)!
When my boss had suffered the pot-holes enough, he yelled lovingly in my ear, “जिधर गड्ढे हैं वहीं से जाना है, यही सोच के निकला क्या?”
We both burst out laughing after that. Passers-by were wondering what’s wrong with these two. But we were able to reach the cinema on time. That was the win for that day.
This Anecdote first appeared in Kisse aur Kahaniyan, my LinkedIn monthly newsletter on 12th December.
PS: I will be participating in the 16th edition of the Apeejay Kolkata Literature Festival to be held from 10th January 25 to 12th January 25 in Kolkata, as a panel speaker. Signed copies of my novel Love Swipe Blackmail will be made available at the lit fest venue, as well as at the Oxford Bookstore in Kolkata. See you all.